Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to feel what it was to fly.

Not flying as in a plane. But flying like a bird, free of the structure of human society. I wanted to know what if felt like to be above the world, away from the people, the noise.

As a small child (and this is ridiculous so understand I was a strange kid), I would tape storage bin lids to my arms, stand out in the back yard, and FLAP FLAP FLAP. But of course, nothing. My small childish mind didn?t understand why gravity must hold me down. But of course, try as I might, I could never flap those makeshift wings hard enough.

My first plane ride was when I was 13. I was going out to visit family in California. I was SO excited to be above the clouds. Takeoff quickly came, and went. And I knew sorely that I was disappointed. This wasn?t flying. Not TRULY flying.

In college I forgot about that childish dream. I?d never fly, not like a bird. I turned my attention to building a foundation for my future career. In this time, though, there was darkness. I struggled with mental health and depression. My last year in college, I decided to buy and bring home a puppy. I wanted a dog that would pull me out of my pit. Something that RELIED on me. And, selfishly, I wanted a pretty dog. So I settled on getting a black and white Siberian with blue eyes.

I picked out the last of the litter, a little red husky named Smith at the time. On the website page, Smith was a listed as a red Siberian Husky, a boy. This breeder didn?t have any black and white Siberians at the time, only a black and white malamute- but I knew my parents would NEVER approve of a massive malamute. So I decided red was okay. The puppy did have one blue eye, too!

It wasn?t until we got to the breeder?s home, that the breeder told me Smith was actually ?Smithy?, and that her helper mis-gendered her at birth and she never corrected the photo. I was actually quite disappointed about this, because all the research I had done told me that as a female, male dogs bond with you more. But I already put a huge (nonrefundable) deposit down, and decided I?d give it a go. So home she went, a little red husky puppy that I re-named Zelda.

Zelda was a HELLION. She was a handful as a puppy. She had SO much energy, and no matter how far I walked her, she seemed to have more. So I decided she needs a job, and a husky?s job, of course, is to pull. So I decided to build a sled.

But as soon as I expressed my ideas and my ?plan? (which was to simply bolt an old lawn chair to a pair of skis), my father quickly took it upon himself to help me make a (slightly) safer option- my first kicksled!

And then, the first snowfall, I hooked Zelda up, and we went. Well, across the 20 feet of barely dusted grass. But the sled WORKED. And Zelda pulled!!! So I anxiously awaited the next big snowfall.

The snowfall came. And we booked it over to the state park to REALLY test the sled, on a trail. And that was it. That was my first glimpse of really flying. The wind whipping in my face, the smooth gliding of the sled, the stillness of everything around us. And I knew I needed to do it again, but for real.

Fast forward a few years and a few more dogs, and I?m here. I?m flying. Maybe not high, but fast. And far. And it?s quiet out here. I think we?ll fly for a little longer.

Run wild. Fly free.

TJ Squires

Chasing The Wolves