Hi, I?m Ella! I am running the Boston Marathon for my mama. Running the Boston Marathon for the Alzheimer?s Association means the world to me and my family, and I am so excited to share my training and fundraising journey with ya'll!!

Alzheimer?s is part of my earliest memories, and I struggle to think of a time when I did not know what it meant for someone to have Alzheimer?s. At the age of 22, I have lost my grandfather, my great uncle, and my aunt to various forms of Alzheimer?s and dementia. My memories of them, their battles with this vicious disease, and their absences have shaped me into the person I am today. However, for me, there is no diagnosis and disease progression that has so quietly and persistently shaped me the way my mom?s diagnosis with Early-Onset Alzheimer?s has. My mom was diagnosed with Early-Onset Alzheimer?s in her forties when I was a 16-year-old senior in High School. Due to the pandemic, a misdiagnosis, and other complications, by the time she was diagnosed, it was categorized as ?middle-stage,? nearing severe. I do not know that there is ever a time when my brothers and I would?ve been prepared to care for our mother as she has faded in front of us, a moment my dad would be prepared to lose his partner, and a day I would be ready to lose my best friend. Grieving someone who is still alive is a bizarre kind of pain. I can sit with my mom and see her face, hold her hand, and sometimes even hear her voice, but the woman who raised me feels so out of reach. I miss her very much.

But my feelings about Alzheimer?s and its effects on her and my family are very complicated. I feel so incredibly privileged to have been able to choose a college near her and stay in Nashville, TN to spend as much time as possible with her. I have had opportunities to advocate for paid leave for caregivers and commit my time and energy to fundraising to fight this horrible disease. My family is so incredibly lucky to have an incredible team of medical professionals to ensure her comfort and safety. We have also been so privileged by her disease?s progression. I have seen firsthand that Alzheimer?s can shred people of their identity; it can make those you love most become harsh and unkind. Her progression has been nothing of the sort. She has been loving and soft. She cries when she grows frustrated and misses my dad during the day, but has not once been mean. Lately, she has developed a quirk as a result of the fact that she can no longer express that she loves or likes a particular thing. So, when you bring her a coffee, she sees a beautiful flower, or the weather is nice, she exclaims at full volume, ?I love you.? I understand perfectly well this may be a symptom of her disease, but I simultaneously feel so grateful to hear my mom tell me she loves me for the first time in three years. For everything I have been robbed of, I have gained so much. Perhaps, they are things I already had, but I have gained the ability to cherish them and recognize them. At a funeral a couple of months ago, a stranger told me I must be so unlucky to have seen so much Alzheimer?s in my life at such a young age. I was struck by how all my family relationships have been fortified and cherished by the challenge and loss we have experienced. I was overwhelmed with gratitude for the time I have spent with my mom before, during, despite, and because of her Alzheimer?s. I am simply amazed by the quantity of love, lessons, and quality relationships my Mom has built in my life. If I am unlucky, I am the luckiest unlucky person alive.

I feel this gratitude every day and in nearly everything I do. I have recently moved to Boston from Nashville. It is the farthest I have ever been from my mom, long-term. The decision to leave Nashville was not one I took lightly, but in many ways has been the closest I felt to my mom in a long time. For a little bit of context, my parents met at MIT. My mom displayed an incredible amount of strength to get there. Living and training in Boston, I feel very close to her again. I run to Cambridge most mornings, so I can run the loop my mom ran every morning of college. I feel her strength and patience as I navigate my challenging job working with survivors of sexual assault and violence. I feel the independence she instilled in me as I moved to a city where I know very few people and live alone for the first time. I am so excited to run the Boston Marathon to advocate for caregivers and spread awareness in a very challenging time for advocacy. My hope is that the research the Alzheimer's Association funds will mean one day the genetics of my family will not be intertwined with the loss and weight of Alzheimer?s. I am honored to raise this money to help support families who have not been as fortunate as mine has been. I feel so privileged to run this marathon and complete was once was, and maybe still is, my mama's dream.