My mom watched my son take his first breath outside my body. She hovered over the heat marveling. I think her heart expanded beyond what she ever thought possible.

When my son began exploring his own experience of gender, my mom didn't blink. All she said was: "I don't care. I just want him to be happy."

Guided by her love for her grandson, my mom got busy educating herself. She read books by trans people, asked me questions, gave Ben safe space to talk. In her 70s, my mom willingly embarked on some of the biggest personal growth efforts of her life.

In doing that work, she became one of my son's most ardent and unwavering advocates. She regularly talked to people about the importance of access to gender-affirming care for trans youth, wrote her state legislators, and continually shared information to push back against false and harmful narratives around trans youth.

My mom died unexpectedly in September 2025. When we lost her, I understood what was gone for me personally. One of the greatest loves of my life. One of my best friends. My son's first love.

And his fiercest ally.

She believed passionately in trans youth having access to gender-affirming care.

As we see the national landscape continue to lean into denying trans youth life-saving and life-affirming health care, we know our strength is in not giving in or giving up.

One way we can both show up for trans youth and make sure my mom's legacy remains the strength, compassion and fierceness she lived, is with Bloom, a trans lives fund where 100 percent of the money earned will go to health care providers and organization devoted to make sure trans kids get the health care they need and deserve.