The following is of a satirical nature:

Seriously.

Each shirt we find on the floor of the Brighton Place Manor is of the finest quality. Everyone knows that a slightly used shirt is always better than a new shirt. The softness quality that comes out after a few wears and washes far surpasses the generic rigidity of a NEW shirt.

We can assure you, the shoulders of the attendees of Brighton Manor Palace Estate are perfectly proportioned to give you that just-somewhat-lived-in feeling to your shirt the moment you receive it in the mail.

Each shirt is hand-washed in a softness river that is full of shirt nutrients, keeping your shirt strong, but making it oh so soft.

After a short amount of time being worn, a wash or two, and then second wearing, your shirt is carefully strewn about the floor of the Brighton Manor Estate-en-Place de Beautempe. Our gentle shirt-nurturers then pick up your shirt, fold it gently, and send it on to you.

We finally did it. We perfected the perfect shirt.

And hey - don't forget to sign up for a class superstar.